Synopsis. Mary’s shows Sandra her recently renovated home. It’s beautiful, it should be in a magazine.
Mary has cooked pastitio. They recall humourous stories from their past. Mary is curious about how Sandra meets women. Mary’s mum has lesbian neighbours – her mum takes them lemons. Sandra confesses her heart broke when Mary married Nick, that her parents thought Sandra will get over being gay and get married too. Mary caresses Sandra’s face, leans in and kisses her intensely.
Off screen hear keys in a lock. Mary is startled, breaks from the kiss. The door opens: footsteps. Mary wipes her wet mouth, takes a swig of wine. Nick enters the kitchen. He forcefully kisses Mary “Hello”, ignores Sandra. Mary is annoyed. “Nick you remember Sandra from uni?” Nick sizes up Sandra, he straddles the chair, starts eating from Mary’s plate. Sandra excuses herself to use the loo. Mary hisses at Nick to leave – he won’t.
They eat dinner together. Uncomfortable. Mary tries desperately to engage them in benign conversation. Nick erupts: “Have you fucked my wife yet?”. Away from Sandra, Nick pleas with Mary “How does this work?”. He leaves. Sandra comforts Mary. Mary asks Sandra to show her if she loves her. They kiss.
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Full Script. EARLY evening. A quiet suburban street. Pretty homes with pretty gardens behind picket fences.
INSIDE Mary’s house. It’s neat, middle class, woggy in a modern way: the kitchen/the alfresco bbq area/dining room/a photo of grandparents from the village/a big TV/an empty bedroom/the bathroom/a stuffed toy on a child’s bed/a clock ticks over to the next minute. Against this background: a conversation.
MARY: (Off screen) We just finished renovating last year. So glad its over. Nick wanted to do it himself and it took forever.
SANDRA: (Off screen) Oh.
MARY: (Off screen) The house came to here and this wall continued along here. But we opened it up and created this alfresco area.
SANDRA: (Off screen) Uh-huh.
MARY: (Off screen) And see the doors open right up.
Sandra and Mary enter the kitchen, laughing.
MARY: And then your car wouldn’t start!
Mary finds a bottle of wine from the fridge: pours two glasses.
SANDRA: The look on your face when you thought we couldn’t get out of there.
MARY: It looked liked a gorgeous B & B. You’re not a vegetarian now are you because I’ve made pastitio for us.
She shows Sandra a freshly made pastitio still in its baking dish.
SANDRA: Oh. Yum. No. I’m not a vegetarian.
MARY: (Teasing) Aren’t all lesbians vegetarian?
SANDRA: Not all lesbians are vegetarians. Not all vegetarians are lesbians. Did you see any signs as we drove in that it was a drug rehab?
MARY: Maybe a clue was all the people walking around in their bathrobes picking at their sores.
SANDRA: You’re just pissed off ‘cause the lady at reception thought I was dropping you off.
Mary turns on the oven.
MARY: Ha. Ha. Ha.
SANDRA: You’re not using the microwave?
MARY: No ‘cause it will harden the bechemel.
SANDRA: Aren’t you the domestic goddess!
Mary gathers salad vegetables from the fridge. Hands Sandra a chopping board and a knife.
MARY: Make yourself useful. Cut the carrots in rounds but tear up the cos.
SANDRA: And bossy!
Mary flashes a warm, genuine smile – takes a swig of her wine.
MARY: So do you meet your girlfriends on Pink Sofa?
SANDRA: You know about Pink Sofa?
Mary smiles, she does.
SANDRA: Sometimes. But you have to kiss a few frogs.
MARY: Uh-huh.
Mary checks on the pastitio.
MARY: Just a couple more minutes. Have you ever dated guys?
SANDRA: Yeah. Sure.
MARY: Uh–huh.
SANDRA: Well, one guy. He was nice. A friend from the lab introduced us. He started talking about how all his friends were getting married and he thought it was time for him to get married.
MARY: Was that a proposal?
SANDRA: I don’t know. I stopped returning his calls.
MARY: Oh you’re brutal.
Sandra acknowledges this might be true.
MARY: Do you think you’d ever get married…you know if the laws change?
SANDRA: Sure.
MARY: You know, there’s a lezzo couple next door to my mum’s…I think they got married…somewhere…one of them’s Italian, Aussie-Italian…and they have kids! Together! I don’t think there was a husband before or anything. And, you know, my mum’s kinda ok with it. She takes them lemons from her tree.
SANDRA: That’s appropriate!
They hold on each other. Mary starts laughing from a memory.
MARY: My mum asked me once (With a wog accent.) “What they do? What they do?”
Mary makes two ‘v’s with her index and middle finger and jambs them together to simulate sex.
MARY: How do I answer lesbian sex questions from my mother?
SANDRA: Sounds like she knows already.
MARY: Do your parents know that, you know, you’re gay.
SANDRA: Yeah. I told them. I told them I was in love with you. They were always going on about how great you are I thought it was the best way to come out to them.
MARY: How did that go?
SANDRA: Not well.
MARY: Oh.
Sandra shrugs, shakes her head.
MARY: You didn’t say anything to me.
SANDRA: You weren’t talking to me anymore.
Mary looks down, nods.
SANDRA: And when they found out you were getting married I didn’t hear the end of it. They thought I would get over being gay and get married too. They had no fucking idea. They didn’t get it because how I felt for you wasn’t real to them.
They hold on each other for a moment. Mary starts to arrange the plates in silence.
MARY: Your mum was asking me a lot of questions about Nick and if I had any kids. I get asked that a lot. I didn’t tell her we were separated.
SANDRA: Uh-huh.
SANDRA: (Serious) So what’s happened with you and Nick?
Mary opens the oven/takes out the warmed pastitio/decants the pieces onto the plates. She motions Sandra to pass the salad. Sandra complies.